Time to choose: The stable guy or the fun guy?

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I am writing postimyyntimorsiamet laiton Yhdysvalloissa to you from the very depths of desperation. I have spent the last six months obsessing, to the cost of my job and the grave annoyance of my friends and family. I would love to keep debating the issue, but I feel my time is almost up.

One is dependable, reliable, sweet and kind and loves me with the sort of conviction I hardly understand myself. We spent many years together, and although our relationship was sometimes tumultuous (mostly my fault, now largely under control), we did and still do love each other tremendously. I trust that he would be by my side if I needed him, without question. Life with him would be financially stable and easy. I am still attracted to him, but he is a very contemplative, somewhat humorless man who goes through life taking both himself and everything else much too seriously.

The other is funny. Really, really funny. He is generous and encouraging. Financially, this situation is not as good. Money would be tight between us, and it would likely not improve in the long term. This man’s greatest attribute, to be honest, is that he makes me into a more positive, more lively person. His energy is positive and fun, so it’s easy to feel the same around him.

The real issue is that this second man is over a at a point in my life when I would like to have children soon, and get married. I don’t necessarily need to have the marriage part, but this second man’s stance against marriage is so strong it only makes me want it more. Read more